Monthly Archives: May 2012

As the curtain falls…

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So, I just got the call from my kidney coordinator. I guess this is the call that we’ve been waiting for since I started testing in January. This is the call that Jami has been waiting for since she found out that her kidney was failing and she would need a transplant. This is the phone call that changed everything.

I’m approved to be a kidney donor.

I will be giving Jami my left kidney (which functions at 46%) on Tuesday, June 19. I’m keeping my right kidney (54% function).

As the curtain falls on my journey to being a kidney donor, I want to say thank you. Thank you for standing next to me and cheering loudly. Thank you for supporting me when I was weak. Thank you for giving so generously so that I can give also. Thank you for challenging me. Thank you for the hugs. Thank you for the tears. Thank you for the silence as we waited. Thank you for holding my hand and renewing my heart. Thank you for everything.

I feel like Thank You isn’t a strong enough. Thank You doesn’t say everything. But, it’s all that I have to offer and I hope you all know how much more deeply it goes than that.

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Jami,

I am so thankful and humbled by this opportunity that’s been presented. I told myself that I would embrace this opportunity and go as far as I can. It looks like “as far as I can” is going to be all the way. We are doing this. This is happening for you. I’m honored to give you a second chance at life. I want nothing in return except for you to have the most amazing life. Surround yourself with love and great opportunities. Be spontaneous and open to everything GREAT life has to offer you.  Life your life open and free and with wild abandon. Enjoy everything. Spread kindness. Soak up the moments that count.

Meeting you has caused me to challenge myself. I challenged myself to “walk the walk”. This opportunity has changed my life. I’ve learned the importance of compassion. And how to be truly selfless. I feel like I’ve gained a whole new understanding of what it means to be a Christian. Would Jesus donate his kidney to save someone’s life? You better believe it. I know that he would.

Thank you for your friendship and all of the heart to heart talks. I love my sister-wife. 🙂 Xoxo

I’m still all in.

Brandi.

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http://www.gofundme.com/hk7lo

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Update time!

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So, I had a little freak out the other day. I guess we can call that my Brittney Spears 2007 moment. I just got overwhelmed. The thing is, I’m human. Yes, I’m donating an organ, but that doesn’t give me any super powers. I still have a very normal (busy!) life and sometimes juggling everything is a challenge. I’m doing the best that I can. My babies are always priority, so if they need or want something then I make sure that happens first. (That’s why I’m not always prompt with updates or new information. My “babies” are 1 and 2…) I am so thankful for all of the sweet words that you sent during my less than stellar moment and I want you to know that I do read everything. And, I will respond. It just might take me a little time. I appreciate the questions and comments so much. (Even those of you who say the things I don’t always want to hear.) I have the best support system and for that I’m so thankful. Thank you.

I got a phone call Thursday morning while I was at the gym from my kidney coordinator. She told me that she had the results from my blood and urine work that I did on Monday. My urine looked “good”. I am not sure exactly what they were checking for, but I passed. The blood work showed that my cholesterol was a little too high. It is 209 and ideally they want to see it below 200. My kidney coordinator’s advice was a diet and lifestyle change. I’m not sure exactly what to do with that suggestion. I go to the gym 5-6 days a week and I eat as healthy as I can. I don’t eat a lot of meat, and when I do its turkey. I prefer veggie meats honestly. I bought some fish oil pills to take. There’s not much I can change. I’m not overweight. (5’7 155 lbs, BMI is 24.) It’s something that runs in my family so diet and exercise only do so much. But, I’m working on it the best I can. More fish, more veggies, and more of the good fats.

An interesting twist…. I’ve passed 3 rounds of testing. Normally, I would be finished with testing and our medical files would go to the transplant board for review. BUT… Not this time. They just added a Round 4. I’m the first person to go though this round. Monday morning I go in for a nuclear scan and a pregnancy test. I should get the results next week but my kidney coordinator will be out-of-town. So, it will be closer to a week or week and a half before I know. This test is testing what percentage each kidney functions at. Very rarely will they both function at 50%. This test will decide which kidney I keep and which kidney I donate. I’ll give Jami the lesser functioning one, and I’ll keep the better of the two. After that, we make 3-4 day trips to St Louis in June and then we will hopefully be approved by the transplant board. If all goes well, the transplant will take place the end of June or the beginning of July.

Cross your fingers!

Say a prayer!

Send good vibes!

xoxo

Overwhelmed.

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This is a hard post to write. I may not even post it publicly. This may be one of those posts I tuck away and pull out later after the raw emotion of it has passed.

I’m scared.
I’m overwhelmed.
I’m tired.

I’m scared to have surgery. I’m scared for my husband and my kids. I’m scared that I won’t wake up. I’m scared to lose an organ. I’m scared that I’m not strong enough. I’m scared to let people down who are counting on me to be strong.

I’m overwhelmed by all of the tests. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of trips to St Louis… Trips that take time and money and energy. I’m overwhelmed by all of the responses to this blog… Even though a majority of them are welcomed with open arms. I’m overwhelmed by the kindness & the curiosity. I’m overwhelmed by the questions and the comments. But, I am so thankful too.

I’m tired. I stay awake at night thinking about all of this and it feels like it’s all so much bigger than me. It feels like I’m carrying the weight of this with me and I don’t have anyone who has been there to talk me down. I need a kidney donor friend. I need someone who has donated an organ that’s been in this place emotionally. But I’m too scared to reach out.

I made this choice. And I want to follow through. I don’t doubt my decision. I’m just having a rough moment that I need to work through. Maybe I need to hit the gym and have a long talk with God. I definitely need to pray more.