It’s an emotional journey


I’ve been really good at remaining calm. Maybe I’m overly calm about all of this. I’ve been calm to the point where people are asking me if I’m sure I’m OK. Or they make comments that I’m the calmest one in the room. But the truth is, I’m calm because I know I’m doing the right thing. I felt the same way on my wedding day. I am happy to donate to my friend because I love her and I want her to be around as long as possible. It’s that simple for me. I’m at peace with my decision and I’ve never felt like I made the wrong choice. I feel like I’m at the place I’m supposed to be. There’s something calming about knowing that.

A couple of days ago I started a face book page for this blog. I wanted to be able to reach out to others who were looking for a donor and to be a support system. I wanted them to see that this process CAN work and that there is always hope. When you have nothing else, you have hope. I wanted to be able to connect to others. I wanted to be able to talk to other living donors.

I did find all of that. But I also found that this is such an emotional part of the journey. I wish that I had enough kidneys that I could donate to everyone. That’s my only regret. I hate that I only have one, but I am thankful that I do have one. Its hard for me to see all of the “So-and-so needs a kidney” face book pages and to not be able to help them. Miguel is 16 months old. Chad is 23. There is a grandpa and a husband, and a father… There are so many. There are so many stories that touch my heart and bring tears to my eyes because I know it’s hard for them. I know that waiting is hard when you need something so desperately to live.

So today if you get a chance, please reach out and send some love to my new face book friends. Send them a message to let them know you will be thinking about them. Sometimes that makes all of the difference.

Chad –

Steve –

Brad –

Jack –

Ed –

Heather –

Jim –

Miguel –

Kay –

Tomorrow I am headed to the hospital for Round 2 of my testing. I will be having an EKG (heart), blood work, urine sample, and also a pregnancy test taken. I will do an update when I get home. I’ll try to talk Jami into taking some pictures for me. Thank you so much for all of the love and support. I know I say this a lot.. But Jami & I really do have the most loving friends and family. You are all amazing. xoxo


One response »

  1. It is really hard isn’t, watching the people in need. Sometimes I found myself wanting to just yell at the world. Seriously, if I can do this why aren’t all you! The worst part is so many people don’t even do it after they are dead. Come on, if people like us can give an organ away while ALIVE, they can definitely donate after they die! haha sorry about my rant.

    I know what you mean about the calm. I had moments of serious stress and anxiety but it was never about my decision to donate. It was always about testing not being quick enough or getting frustrated with my transplant team or being afraid I would get denied to donate. i was always very calm and positive about my decision to donate, that was never a question.

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